It has already been more than a decade for DMRC, with its services being operational. Although a decade is 10 years and this is India, the Delhi metro is still one of the cleanest places in the city, that I’ve seen.

But Every once in a while, the avid writer in me wants to share! Wants to compliment! Wants to really say, that it is the safest place to be!
How-come? One may ask!

One might not know, but they cannot really fall in the Metro!
Yes! One cannot; there is not enough room!

And it is also not possible for one to die once they’ve entered the train! You can die right outside it, on the tracks, below its wheels, on the platform, on the escalator, anywhere, but not inside it. How?

For one to die inside it, they would have to breathe their last breath inside, which is not possible, because again there isn’t enough air!

Don’t get me wrong. I love it when four strangers breathe down my neck and they all come from a place where brushing is taboo! Or if I’m lucky enough I get to smell the not-so-occasional fart whose evil perpetrator is smugly smiling at everyone, because he knows no one can trace that one back to his arse!

Being a guy is the most tough part, you regularly get molested, and you might have liked it;  if it were the first coach, but it isn’t!

If ever, you experienced the crushing force of the AFC gates, when they malfunction, you would remain no non-believer the next time.
You might as well be found praying to God for strength each time you were to cross the jaws of pain, meant to maim or at least seriously injure!

Well, to break out of the trend of complaining, and not-being-a-part-of-the-problem-but-the-solution, if I may suggest some options:

— When the metro is jam-packed, stop holding onto any sort of hand rail /harness. Just stand there, sandwiched on all sides like the ‘paneer’ in a sub, and close your eyes. Go for a nap! Trust me you won’t fall, and even if you do you’d have a great story to tell!

–The number of cumulative hours people lose(no. of people in the metro * 10 sec * no. of times the doors tried to close unsuccessfully) , because some idiot had entered a metro with no further room to accommodate, is absolutely ridiculous. And if you do the actual math, you might be able to see reason in my suggestion that the authorities should now install samurai swords at the edges of the gates, and close the gates at several hundred miles an hour! Well if we do lose that much time, someone should pay for it in flesh and blood, Right?

— Empower the commuters with arrows, spears, swords and maybe (if required in case of large groups)a bazooka and let the fun begin!

So let’s cut down(almost too literally) the nuisance a bit and be more careful the next time. Serious advice: use the words “Sorry”,”Please”,”Excuse-me”,”Thank-you” very generously and declare your intentions before you move.

with Love