Today, there is so much to do. So much. Buy, save, live, feel, be, do, show.
Why does it require so much effort? I wanna rest, but how? I wanna I wanna I wanna aaarrrgrghhhhh! Purportedly I sit and I chose I don’t wanna. I don’t wanna do anything. I know I will regret this later. Sleep doesn’t come easily. Waking up is difficult. Running being and doing have all become so difficult. What do I do? Crying doesn’t help, I just end up pitying my self. I decide things and moments like these make me wanna feel weak, at least then I’d have a reason for all this. I am weak I can’t help it.

Home is not home anymore. This body requires so much effort. It wants to be fed. It wants to rest. It feels diseased. I miss so many people. But they all have expectations and I have no power left to fulfill. Constant blah blah blah. I am tired of it.