Day after day, every hour, I keep on getting desires to do something. Sometimes the desires are just about doing something else. Something else. Not this! No, not this too. Something else.
And that would have been frustrating but I know better. I think it is probably a good thing to get bored, frustrated again and again. It is probably a good thing that I keep getting to know, that “this is not it.”
There must definitely be something else that can quench my desires. It is not a thirst, it is not hunger, neither sleep, nor want of companionship. And it is not any other carnal instinct. It feels like nothing can satisfy. And probably it might be scary for a normal person, but I know better.
I think it is a drive to do something worth-a-while. And I know of many things which are worth-a-while. Well, not many “things” but many ways. Because all that is actually worth-a-while is spreading smiles. So, it may be designing a new game, taking a political awareness step, helping someone out of their misery or simply enrolling another stranger-later-to-become-great-friend on one of the Art of Breathing programs, but it is what it is, something worth-a-while to spend your time effort and money upon.
Though I don’t know which, but I probably know where home is. And I am less scared about making tough choices. But, still scared anyway. Continue reading